Dub Cee Reviews: The Quiet Earth (1985) by Reader Request

Director: Geoff Murphy

Writer(s): Craig Harrison (novel), Bill Baer, Bruno Lawrence, Sam Pillsbury (Screenplay)

After watching this film, I was left with one lone thought as the credits rolled. “What the Hell did I just watch?”

Seriously, that is all I could think of. Thank the Movie Gods this film was only a mercifully short 91 minutes long. Anything more than that and the temptation to hang myself by my intenstines would have been overwhelming.

The story is the usual “last man on Earth” scenario. Zac Hobson (Bruno Lawrence) wakes up to find that there is literally nobody around. Cars are wrecked on the side of the road. Pumps are left running and overflowing. There is not a soul to be found. I don’t mean dead bodies, I mean there is literally only Zac and the buildings. Even the birds are gone. Zac proceeds to his old job which turns out was some military experiement. (Shocking). He believes the project likely caused “The Effect”. He heads out to the radio station and broadcast his name and address to the airwaves. (Seems the people writing I Am Legend must have seen this.) Zac eventually decides to Hell with living in his old modest house and moves into a mansion and drives various cars until they run out of fuel. Eventually the lonliness starts to overwhelm him and he starts to lose it. Even going to far as to setup cardboard cutouts of various world leaders, I.e. Hitler, Queen Elizabeth, Nixon, the Pope, and setups a soundtrack to applaud his speech.

One day another survior named Joanne (Alison Routledge) shows up. She helps Zac return to something resembling normalcy and they work together to search for other surviors. Yea, eventualy they have the sex you expect them to. The lone highlight of the movie might be Routledge’s ass.

Turns out they find the nut jub known as Api (Pete Smith) who we find out killed a woman. Through the course of conversation we learn that all three people should be dead but their deaths were timed with the effect. What this has to do with anything…who knows. NOTHING in this movie is ever explained. I mean NOTHING. The ending makes about as much sense as putting an elevator in an outhouse.

Finally, to the person who requested this movie. I know where you live and my soul has been devoured by this craptastic movie. Remember that.

Grade: F

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One Response to “Dub Cee Reviews: The Quiet Earth (1985) by Reader Request”

  1. Sounds pointless, but at the same time I’m sort of intrigued. I think I may rent this. If I hate it, I’m blaming you for bringing it up in the first place.

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